It’s another Medical Monday, so to all my first-time visitors today, welcome! You’re just in time for my second installment (see the first here!) of:
“You know you’re a medical student when…”
21. You celebrate when your surgical patient passes gas for the first time after surgery.
22. Your conversations typically go from “Hey, how was your weekend with your girlfriend?” to “So if you were on dialysis, would you want peritoneal or hemo?” in less than 10 minutes.
23. You refer to your after-work drinks not as “Happy Hour,” but as “Liver Rounds.”
24. You text your classmate to ask them to call when they are “s/p dinner.”
25. You’re frustrated at the end of your 14 hour day that you’ve accumulated 47 new emails that have not been “triaged.”
26. You insist that your Dansko clogs are NOT grandma shoes to skeptical friends.
27. You’ve been known to ask your friends to succeed with a finger-to-nose test and rapid alternating movements before you’ll allow them to leave the bar.
28. You discover you’re included as “essential staff” and report to your clerkship even in hurricane conditions.
29. When you’re sent home early in the hurricane, your first reaction is excitement… because you were just handed some bonus hours to study for the shelf exam.
30. You have multiple text books that wind up looking like this:
31. You can carry out a meaningful conversation using only acronyms: “We have a LOLNAD with PMH of DM, HTN, and NSTEMI s/p CABG in 2003…”
32. You’re able to consume a meal while studying pictures of cadavers, details about food poisoning, and pictures of trauma cases. Dermatology, however, is a different beast…
33. You frequently get halfway through a story that is hilarious to you and realize your non-medical friend is barely paying attention and simply laughing when you laugh.
34. Whenever given a baked good, you accept… but not without accusing the baker of giving you Diabetes.
35. You’re 24 years old, but you struggle to stay awake until your 9:00 PM bedtime.
36. You diagnose your cab driver with atrial fibrillation from the back seat of a van cab, based solely on his pulsating JVP.
37. You think it’s perfectly acceptable to wear scrubs out to dinner.
38. You find out about major news headlines four months late because you were so absorbed in studying for Step 1.
39. Your friends get annoyed when you’re constantly “examining” their moles, bug bites, and other dermatologic lesions, because it will help with your education.
40. Your favorite thing about the show Grey’s Anatomy is pointing out the medical mistakes.
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