Because you all really wanted to know what actually happens in my apartment when I claim to be studying all day… here’s the play-by-play, so you can even replicate it yourself!(Though I make no claims as to the success of these actions… replicate at your own risk!)
9:05 AM: Wake up feeling so incredibly grateful for sleeping in on that wonderful gem known as the WEEKEND.
9:07 AM: Realize that it’s not actually the weekend, it’s just the study day before a shelf exam. Buzzkill.
9:35 AM: Root through the freezer in an attempt to scrounge up an acceptable breakfast, since I’ve consumed most of my food in the two weeks since I’ve last grocery shopped. Decide that now is an appropriate time to rearrange the entire freezer in an effort to assess dinner possibilities for upcoming surgery rotation and make room for soon-to-be-assembled frozen crockpot meals.
9:56 AM: Settle on pumpkin Eggo waffles for breakfast. There are plenty of other meals today that can be healthy, right?
10:03 AM: Head to clerkship website to download the “Psychiatry Shelf Study Guide.” Pat myself on the back for initiating productivity so early in the morning.
10:17 AM: Remember that Modern Family was new last night, and I haven’t watched it yet. Remedy the situation.
10:41 AM: Hey, wasn’t it a new episode of How I Met Your Mother this week, too?
11:08 AM: HOLD UP. There’s going to be a Boy Meets World sequel featuring Cory and Topanga’s daughter, and CORY is slated to play Mr. Feeny?!?!?!?! Mind. Blown. Must tell ALL friends.
My inner seventh grader took a moment to celebrate, just like this.
11:12 AM: It’s late enough for lunchtime, right? Hello, leftover fish burrito!
11:14 AM: Realize that my psychiatry shelf study guide is open behind my web browser. Oh, right. Today’s a study day. Maybe I should attempt some semblance of productivity and read this study guide and do some practice questions. Maybe.
PSYCH PSYCH PSYCH PSYCH PSYCH
12:07 PM: You know what, Psychiatry? I’m going to multitask and catch up with some friends via online chat while I study. And listen to “Jazz for Reading” on Songza. How does that make YOU feel?
Oh, Michelle. I love your support.
12:50 PM: Dear NBME, Next time you make a shelf exam for Psychiatry, it’d be really, REALLY nice if it didn’t focus on neurology, which I have yet to complete. No love, K.
1:31 PM: Who thought it would be a good idea to have two very different medical problems and name them koro and kuru? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!
Even Oprah thinks it’s a terrible plan.
2:45 PM: As an example of regression, “many medical students who return home act as if they are teenagers with regards to their parents or other hometown friends.” Geez, Lange. Tell me how you really feel. Before I have a mood swing and lock myself in my room with some emo punk music.
3:03 PM: Battle strong desire to complete online Christmas shopping before surgery rotation starts, which obviously means it needs to happen NOW and not this weekend. Spend the better part of an hour half writing explanations to psychiatry questions, and half compiling a list of loved ones who will be receiving gifts this year.
3:54 PM: Scramble out of my room immediately upon receiving text from my roommate that reads something along the lines of, “I’m making churros… do you want one?”
5:12 PM: Decide that my friend (A: “Good luck, good luck, good luck studying!”) is exhibiting signs of palilalia-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya.
5:30 PM: Engage in a lengthy discussion about my upcoming surgery rotation with my roommate, who has already completed this block. Get simultaneously more excited AND more terrified to begin trauma surgery next week.
6:26 PM: Procrastinate reinitiating psychiatry work via workout session, even though it means changing out of pajamas. By the way, have I mentioned my new obsession with Blogilates?
7:23 PM: Make dinner. Honey pecan crusted salmon with caramelized leeks and carrots? A study day never tasted so good… even though I’m too antsy to wait for complete caramelization.
This is obviously what I did the entire time I was cooking.
8:35 PM: Realize it’s crunch time. Watch the video of that kid who gives the speech from Miracle for inspiration and hunker down for a few hours until bedtime.
…come 12 PM tomorrow, I’ll be midway through my third year and I have no idea how I got here.